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meadowlarking2020-04-22 11:35 pm
TEST DRIVE MEME 012
Welcome to the Meadowlark test drive meme! After waking up in strange and rather worrisome conditions, characters will need to begin to live their lives in this new world. All TDM threads take place after the arrival process, so please assume that the initial adjustment period has passed – in which the characters were found after being dropped off in a random part of the city and had to live in a safehouse for four days before hitting the streets. Now it's time to see the bright sights and sounds that New Amsterdam – and beyond – has to offer.
All Meadowlark test drive memes will not be game canon because of the nature of our arrival logs. Please feel free to carry on relationships that make sense, but please keep in mind that the TDM may not reflect current circumstances in game.
This will be Meadowlark's last Test Drive Meme until we hit 50 players.
NOTE: The PCs have chosen to call themselves "the Displaced," and that's become the common parlance to refer to them.
There is very little that can smooth over the experience of your arrival in this world. Coming to your senses in a van, drugged and restrained, only to be carefully helped out by the unknown guards and nurses and then abandoned in an alleyway. What comes after is relatively straightforward: you're found by others and taken back to a safehouse that is hidden under an old hover bike shop. You aren't the first group that this has happened to: there are others not from this world who have experienced the same, with no recollection of how they came here. Like you, they have few answers about what's happened to them. Maybe this knowledge brings you a growing sense of futility, or perhaps it inspires a deeper determination in you. But even as you begin to think on what to do next, life has to go on.
All of the new arrivals will be given a fake ID and a background that will lend them access to entry-level jobs. It may be overwhelming, but their fellow Displaced have found their footing enough to be able to help the newcomers. Two Morningstar agents will be around to take care of world integration and IDs – the rest will fall to the Displaced who arrived before. It would take at least a month's wages to put down a deposit on even the smallest apartment in the city, so everyone has a grace period before they have to leave the safehouse – and then some, depending on the kindness of who's running the show.
Morningstar's veteran agents will also make their purpose clear if asked: they are a group dedicated to fighting corruption and righting the wrongs of this world, though they're in the process of rebuilding the organization's branch in New Amsterdam from scratch, and they know that the people in charge of those efforts wouldn't mind a little help. It will be made expressly clear that this entire arrangement to get the Displaced situated in the world is meant to be kept a secret, and that especially includes Morningstar's assistance. Letting the world know about their involvement could cause big problems.
> EXPLORE THE CHANGES
Despite the lack of answers about why you're here, your fellow Displaced will be able to give you a rundown of the changes they've recognized in each other. Anyone who had powers before will find them gone. Anyone who was once an AI or in a completely artificial body will find that their current body is now fully human. Those with cybernetics will find that they've remained mostly untouched, though any primitive ones may be replaced with temporary ones that are improvements on the previous models.
◉ NEW ABILITIES. In the place of any powers that were lost, there is now a new power. These abilities are unique to each of the Displaced and seem to update over a certain period of time, with the changes appearing thanks to critical emotional events. One thing that's apparent is that the power seems to be linked to the Displaced individual's personality or life before this one, shaped according to who they happen to be. When this power appears, their chest glows with a blue light that shines from their sternum, and it can be triggered by anything: natural inclination or a moment of great stress. If someone's out in public when this happens, they might want to duck under cover lest the blue glow from their chest and the unusual power's appearance draws unwanted attention.
◉ EMPATHY BOND. No matter the circumstances or the conditions, every skin-to-skin touch of the Displaced triggers this empathy bond. Whether they touch hands, brush cheeks, or knock into one another on accident, they'll be met with the emotions of the person they've touched. Every instance of skin-to-skin contact will trigger an immediate empathic bond, letting you feel the other person's emotions and vise versa. While there's nothing that can be done to completely prevent this, someone can either decide to hold on and continue sharing that level of emotional intimacy, or let go and end the shockingly vulnerable exchange. If someone is particularly tactile but not fond of sharing their emotions, they might want to invest in a fashionable pair of gloves.
◉ MEMORY SHARE. Through a recent event, the Displaced unlocked the ability to share memories similarly to how they can share emotions. While unknown at first, the Displaced soon learned that they could share a memory with each other the same way they could share emotions. All they need to do is focus on a memory and touch the skin of their fellow Displaced, and then they could pass this experience along. These memories are shared through the eyes of the giver, granting the receiver a unique insight into the thoughts, feelings, and sensations during a specific moment in their life.
◉ DREAM SHARING. Once one, two, or five Displaced fall asleep, they may be able to find each other in their dreams. These dreams lead to the dreamers themselves feeling lucid and somewhat in control of their surroundings—though the control itself is ultimately dependent on the dreamer and how well they come around to understanding what's going on. Dream logic applies with the flow of time, but no one is able to spend their entire lives there. Lost powers are still gone for any of the Displaced, but they can use their dreams to practice any new ability that they've received. Memory shares and empathy bonds are just as possible within these shared dream states—if anyone doubts that another Displaced is really there, they can test the empathy bond to see if it activates.
◉ POWER SHARES AND UNIONS. The Displaced can share something of themselves with another Displaced by offering them an object that comes out of their chest. This object is meant to be symbolic of the person it comes from and significant to them in some way. When someone else takes hold of this object, they will get a sense of the owner's essence, along with temporary access to their in-game ability. Only when they give the item back do they give up the power in question. In addition, the Displaced are able to act in unison and create a fusion of their powers, making it so they can fight someone else with them at once. This ability is there from day one, but the power's ability will only ever present at its current stage.
> THE NETWORK
When the Displaced first showed up, Morningstar set up a private network for all of the Displaced to use in order to communicate. Most of the veteran Displaced are old hands at using the implant now, and will be happy to provide any necessary information on how to utilize this new tool and understand its application in daily life.
Early on, every newcomer receives access to the encrypted network, only available to you and the others like you, making contact between you easy and safe. Familiarize yourself with this network and dig in. Perhaps you're hoping to find some bigger answers, ask about the current nail polish trends in New Amsterdam, or want to play a game of "hot or not" among the Displaced.
◉ IDENTIFICATION. Everyone who gets set up with an ID gets access to Morningstar's network. In order to ensure that none of the Displaced stand out like sore thumbs, Morningstar's agents El and Gaby ensure that everyone has a name that makes it so they fit in among society. All usernames are thusly formed as firstname.lastname, with some room for creativity (Ziggy Stardust had a brief cameo, after all).
◉ PRIVATE COMMUNICATION. There are private, one-on-one modes of communication available as well, though without the security of Morningstar's encryptions, they're much less safe. You can make calls, send texts, make videos, and even interact with others in a VR simulation—however, it's made very clear that the government has a means of tracking this communication. Big brother is always watching.
The day of April 26th is known to all United Nations citizens: it's Resolution Day. To everyone around the world, it's the day when the last known AI lifeforms were completely eradicated in 2101. While some might say that it's the day that the UN claimed victory over the AI, to people the world over it's the day that humanity managed to keep themselves from being wiped out. Little will be said in detail about the holiday itself, but a remedial bit of research will cover the six-year-long Xelkoven War between humans and AI. The war itself was started when the home security unit AI Elysian killed 50 households full of people, and the war itself was named after the largest artificial intelligence distributor at the time: Xelkov. Ultimately, a billion humans died in the war, and there was the very real risk that the rest of humanity could have followed if they hadn't devised a method to put down the AI for good.
The citywide celebration of Resolution Day starts early and finishes very late, so whether you choose to join in the fun, learn more about the history of the festival, or take advantage of the revelry for other, more nefarious goals, you'll have plenty of time.
As the festival sprawls wildly throughout the streets of New Amsterdam, it gives even the most desolate parts of the city new life with bright lights, noise, and plenty of food. Most businesses are closed for the day, but not all of them—if you've gotten yourself a restaurant, street cleaning, or corporate PR job, you might find yourself stuck on a double shift. Better snatch what small moments of enjoyment you can!
> ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES
Anything you'd think would be at a festival in the year 2512 is definitely at this festival. Food, games, dancing, alcohol, free stuff? It's all there for your enjoyment. While the city streets will be full of people, this isn't a bad day to try networking. Want to get a new job or find a way to pry some information out of someone when they're least likely to remember you? Try to butter them up—or use the powers you've been granted to get your way. If anything goes badly, at least you can slip back into the crowd.
◉ GAMES. Care to play a game? All attendees can play for free. Some games —like the hoverblade racing, the augmented reality fightboxes, and the street-wide bouts of laser tag—require a partner or a competitor, so you better hope someone's willing to do you a solid or bring out your competitive side. For anyone who's interested in something a little less hands-on, all of the city's biggest VR arcades will have setups with all the latest games. Hoping to get noticed for your gaming talent? This might not be the day to try to stand out, but anyone's down to try.
◉ FOOD TRUCKS. It's time to try the delicacies of New Amsterdam. Hundreds of food trucks have turned out today in droves with high hopes that they'll come away turning a profit. Down for some Mexi-German fusion? Or perhaps you're hoping that pad thai still tastes the same with grasshoppers? Share your food – or give away whatever you don't like. Food trucks are the hub of activity, and the busiest ones might be worth the time, but you'll be standing in line for a while.
◉ NETWORKING. There are other opportunities with the city being flooded with festival-goers. Whether someone is on a mission to try to test the current sentiments toward Morningstar or simply wants to charm some corporate execs, this might be the time to get it done. Whatever your cover story is, make it good. Whether you claim you're hoping to pitch an idea for some new tech or are more interested in seducing – or squeezing – some information out of them, following them into the next bar or karaoke booth may give you the perfect chance. But you might want a lookout to watch your back, a co-conspirator to keep them plied with drinks, or maybe you'll need a voice of reason to stop you from squeezing too hard. Discretion is the name of the game. Everyone can agree upon that.
> HISTORY LESSONS
Aside from your typical booths of free samples, charitable causes, volunteer applications, and white chocolate-covered beetles, you'll find an opportunity to learn about Resolution Day’s history. There are various stands available where—thanks to the augmented reality application of your neural implant—you can view videos about the origins of the festival and the reasons for celebrating. If you haven't done your initial search yourself, you'll be able to buff up on it here.
◉ VR SIMULATIONS. If you'd like to feel like a hero, the UNA are running several virtual reality simulations where you can be taken to the battlefield to fight alongside fellow soldiers, working to bring the outwardly robotic AI to submission. The virtual reality simulation interacts with your neural implant to give you the most realistic experience possible. If you don't ground yourself enough, you'll be certain that the sights, sounds, and smells around you are real as you march in formation toward the brutality waiting up ahead. Feel free to team up with a partner on a side mission, or maybe try to keep someone from plugging in for what could be a traumatic experience. Eerie, heart-wrenching music plays when you die, but is promptly followed by the image of several corporate logos reminding you that they sponsored this day and this event.
◉ SYMPATHIZERS. If you're uncomfortable with the concept of eradicating all AI, no one will understand why. AI sympathizers are not present among the native population. Everyone in this world has been raised with the understanding that AI only wanted to destroy humanity, and that everyone is lucky to be alive in spite of it. They have a deeply ingrained fear, and anyone claiming to formerly be an AI or android won't receive a very friendly response.
Traveling down from the hectic main city streets reveals a different side from the gloss and promise of New Amsterdam. Economic disparity runs rampant throughout the city, and many people are pushed to desperation, looking to find other ways to make ends meet. In the darker shadows, many illegal activities thrive, out of view of the authorities—or perhaps known and supported by corrupt individuals. Maybe you're out exploring, completing a task for Morningstar, or working a job in the place you excel. Whatever brought you to the rougher parts of town, you may want to watch your step, or else find the city eating you as it has so many others.
> ORGANIZED CRIME
Organized crime still has a strong foothold in the world, with gangs and more established families working with drugs, weapons, property, and black market cybernetics, to name a few. These organizations are sprawling units that regularly recruit new members into their ranks, so long as they can prove themselves by passing the intensive hazing. While there are two main mob entities in New Amsterdam—the Riverstone Mob and the Petrov Family—there are a handful of gangs that otherwise roam the streets. Some are loosely sponsored by the mob, while others are fledgling groups trying to gain clout. More than anything, these groups know they don't have the power of the corporations or government, and do everything to seize more power when they can.
◉ JOINING UP. Catching the eye of the mob is difficult, but not impossible. Getting into the larger gangs is less difficult, but they're still wary of anyone who doesn't know the ins and outs of how to duck surveillance, traffic drugs and supplies, and intimidate people without catching flack from the NAPD. The best way to start getting attention is through their clubs, casinos, and illegal gambling dens. Getting inside isn't always easy: it might take a few weeks of legwork to get an invite, but someone could try to strongarm their way inside or use some chicanery to make it a smoother endeavor.
◉ ESCAPE PLAN. Whether you went in to cause trouble or accidentally caused it by breathing the wrong way, it's good to have an escape plan in place. Does that mean fighting all the goons available? Maybe. What about stealing a hover bike and getting away? The good news is that hover bikes can fit where hover cars can't.If you've got the skills, you'll be able to weave through the chaos of the city and make a clean getaway. Just don't let the chase run for too long, or you'll have law enforcement on your ass as well.
> FIGHT CLUB
No matter the occasion outside, New Amsterdam's fight club events are held every evening. The bouncers at the door don't have too many scruples on who they let inside. All they care about is whether someone has the money to pay the cover charge.
The interior of the fight club reveals the sophistication of a business that's used to uprooting itself regularly. All the fights take place in a large cage in the center, and you remain on your feet while you enjoy the show. There is a special VIP section if you've been lucky enough to receive an invite or bribe your way in – just keep in mind that these invites are scarce, and you will have to have done something spectacular to earn the attention from someone high up the food chain. Regardless of where you end up, there is one rule: what happens in the fight club stays in the fight club. This tenant is law, and everyone's heard stories of the different (and sometimes extreme) lengths that have been taken to maintain it.
◉ FIGHT. It's time to sign up and test your chops against other fighters. Many of the fighters boast illegal cybernetic enhancements, so it would be a really good idea to have someone on hand who knows some first aid. Fights can either happen in duos or in one-on-ones depending on the signups for the evening.
◉ RINGSIDE CHAT. You might just want to enjoy the show, or use the opportunity to grill the bartenders for information. Just be careful not to make a fool of yourself. Asking too many questions might catch the wrong kind of attention – the kind that might find you being thrown into the ring, whether you wanted to be there or not. For all the blood spilled, these fight clubs thrive on discretion, so whatever you do, try to keep it quiet.
Life in New Amsterdam was once all festivals and people avoiding association with organized crime. Life in New Amsterdam these days is full of drama, citywide disturbances, and everything else that might be expected of an action film in progress. While there aren't many answers for what's happened to the Displaced, there is enough chaos going around that it seems like it may be connected to their arrivals.
The worst part is that New Amsterdam seems to struggle. Rather than being an anonymous backdrop to those action films, New Amsterdam is a bustling city full of life that never asked to be at the heart of this. When trouble hits, most repairs and restorations focus on helping those with money, while others are left forgotten living in tents and hoping for a helping hand. Recent circumstances have called for improvements in this area—there is more charitable work than ever before in New Amsterdam—but it's still a trying time.
Where the Displaced stand in all of this varies, but it's hard to ignore a city in trouble.
◉ DISPLACED VERSUS DISPLACED. Whether it's by manipulation of an outside force or through inhaling weird monster gas, sometimes the Displaced are at odds with one another. When some of these few heroes are fighting, it means that the city can be left in even greater danger. Other times, the Displaced might not be able to control themselves. Feeling a sudden surge of vengeance and hoping to follow through on it? That monster gas might be the cause. Want to finish out a nasty deal to get something back important? The monster gas won't be an excuse, but maybe someone can pretend it was. Life as a Displaced is wild sometimes.
◉ THE UNITED NATIONS ARMY. In fact, it's so wild that sometimes they come up against the extremely dangerous soldiers of the UNA. These soldiers are the military arm of the United Nations government. They aren't the average soldier, however. Dressed in thick black armor that acts as an exoskeleton for their bodies, they are basically invulnerable to any and all attacks. When fighting as a unit, they work perfectly in unison, making it so that they can quickly move to deny almost any and all attacks. They're also extremely resistant to any mental or emotional compulsion or manipulation, making them hard nuts to crack. Ready for a bossfight? They're the soldiers for it.
◉ MONSTERS. As for unconventional threats, there are the monsters. These creatures first turned up in giant form when the first batch of Displaced arrived, stomping all over New Amsterdam. The less unique version of the monsters are around 400m high, have lizard-like features, and tend to show up by tearing down a portion of New Amsterdam's city wall And that's the less unique version. More unique monsters vary in size and make, seeming to be an amalgamation of a number of different creatures. Half-snake, half-dog? Seems odd, but it happens. The one consistent feature of all these monsters is they all have golden irises. Suffice to say that running into these creatures could be a problem.
Feel free to branch out and explore! Visit a doctor about some advanced cybernetics. Sneak through the city checkpoints and set out into the wilderness. Try to hop on a train bound for one of the world's five spaceports to see one of the colonies—though bear in mind the cost and difficulty of one of these joy rides. Experiment with some insect based versions of your favorite recipes. Perhaps you'd prefer to engage in some illegal street racing, spend some time getting used to the technology, or try to become a social media celebrity. Use the SETTING for inspiration and choose your own adventure!
no subject
[ castiel, despite being an old as balls angel of the lord, mostly just looks kind of frumpy but vaguely contemplative of all the world around him. while his posture is straight and everything looks human about him for the most part, cas still tends to carry something alien about him. a little stiff, a little detached from the body he's in. ]
Losing details only blurs a picture.
[ and makes it easier to tell people it's something else, and castiel has seen plenty enough of that already. not that he's expecting that in this case, but it does strike cas as odd that an entire species of life forms was wiped from the face of the earth and the only currently available reason is "they rebelled, not sure why".
cas blinks at the woman a second, looking confused with the questions she asks, before he shakes his head. the once-angel listens intently to her, probably making more eye contact than is comfortable because what is acting like a normal human being. after a quiet moment to consider the question, he answers with an open honest, pensive. ]
Nothing, there's... very few things that justify slaughter. [ a sin he is far from innocent of, but apparently his punishment is living with it, and attempting to do better. cas won't say there's nothing that justifies it, but yeah, very few. ] I'm not concerned with whether or not the attack was provoked or deserved.
[ a beat, and he seems to be forming the words in his head before voicing them. ] But the reasoning does matter. War and tragedy are symptoms of a deeper infection. Viewing one without the other is, well, missing the point.
no subject
It does. What is known now is unlikely to be the full truth of the past. But they cannot change what is lost, only what the meaning is to them.
[The wars of her people are long and peace is rare and only recent, to a point. The clans fought nearly as long as they all existed, and while the coalition changed some of that, peace is tenuous. Blood must have blood. She is still new to questioning the wisdom of everything that has come before and the sacred ways of her kind.]
They celebrate for they believe that humanity survived extinction and found lasting peace between their clans. They are alive and their children and grandchildren will live on. What their ancestors did, whether justified or not, gave them a future.
[She is new to this place and it will take some time before she can decide how to retake her position. Or if she should. If she tries to conquer this place, she is no better than the Mountain Men or the Skaikru who tried to dominate the land and people that did not belong to them. ]
What do you think is the deeper infection?
no subject
Humanity did, yes. [ cas begins, perhaps carefully, and takes a second to form this in his head before voicing it, trying to be particular about what it is that makes this hard for him to swallow. ] But at the cost of another species' extinction. That isn't how wars typically end.
[ castiel will never condemn the survival of humanity, he adores them all much too fiercely and has gone into battle (and death) to see them spared divine or demonic wrath too often, but he won't overlook their wrongs either. the fact remains, this war didn't leave a winning and losing side to come back together in peace after - one eradicated the other. as for the deeper infection, castiel's shaking his head, lips pressed as he seems to struggle with finding an answer for that. ]
I can't say. There isn't enough information - there isn't any information. [ not here, at least, which is the glaring issue that's really bothering him, and castiel's frankly glad he has someone to talk it through with, even if it's this woman he's never met. it's a fresh and foreign perspective, and that never hurts. ] If we believe what we're presented with now, we know there was once another race of intelligent life on this planet that now no longer exists, because the other deemed it inherently evil.
[ and that feels extremely suspect to him, regardless of what was done to deserve it or not. it wasn't just a war, it was a cleansing. the enemy is no long represented in this world, at all. castiel's eyes are lost for a lull of silence, off somewhere in the distance, brow deeply furrow as he seems to roll the idea through his head again before returning his attention to lexa. ]
For millions of years, I haven't known any form of life that's inherently evil. Not by nature.
no subject
Extinction should be the last resort after all other measures have been taken. I hope their leaders in that time didn't make the choice easily but we do not know. [Her eyes travel to the others who are there to learn, and the two of them at least seem to have been forgotten. She, like him, suspects that the real story is not what is being told here.] It could be that the truth is intentionally lost so these people can believe what is most comforting.
[Her arms cross against her chest and she nods.]
It would be simpler if so. It takes away the weight of sacrifice and hard decisions if your enemy is a monster. You can convince yourself to do anything if they are that. I've never seen it so one-sided, but some of my people do.
[It took her years for them to see one another as more than an enemy clan. To form the coalition. To then try and add the outsiders to the same peace, so they could avoid the exact choice the past humans did against these AI. ]
You said millions of years as if you have lived so long. [Lexa misses very little.]
no subject
[ like her questions before, it's one without judgment, asked mildly with curiosity. there is merit to the concept 'ignorance is bliss' and there's a good reason hunters like sam and dean hide the supernatural world and its dangers from the general human populace. but, there's two sides to every choice, and even if it gives them peace, it also leaves them blinded and vulnerable to what they don't know or understand.
cas knows every choice a leader makes for their people is a gamble, a risk, and sometimes that pays off, and sometimes, that leader is left to carry the destruction wrought from their choices, and the burden of mourning all those that had to pay for their failure in foresight. it isn't an easy or simple ask for anyone.]
It would be, and humans throughout history have used propaganda to demonize an enemy to their populace for that reason exactly. To ease the acceptance of a war, of violent force. [ not always to a virtuous end, but every war that needs majority support from society will have some form of propaganda around it, not even Heaven is free from that. it isn't a new concept, but is it a right concept? ] If a leader is wrong in turning their people against another, how is that reconciled? Do we bury it, do we attempt to fix it? And if we do bury it, is the blame partly ours if history repeats?
[ it's a genuine ask he'd like to hear her thoughts on, because despite her youth, she clearly has some level of experience with war and leadership. lexa's given him some very good points to think on so far, and human insight on the more delicate topics, like this, are hard for him to come by. it's not like he and dean just sit around the breakfast table chatting about propaganda and warped history. it's not really dean's thing.
it's true, she misses very little, and a small but warm smile pulls across castiel's lips. ]
I did. [ just that, confirming, yes, he did say millions of years, as if he has lived that long, but he's not diving right into explaining that just yet. first - ] My name is Castiel.
no subject
A leader must protect their people and do what is best for them. It is their responsibility to take the ugly truth onto themselves, and share the burden only if necessary. If it is possible to give them peace instead of pain, it should be done.
[If her poise and confidence didn't already betray her position, the very personal nature of that statement does. Lexa is a commander to her core, literally born for it, she knows of no other way to be. She understands she is not always right, and she has shared enough with her predecessors to see that they all make choices both bad and good. But it is still what they must do. The command cannot be broken. They can only lead their people forward.
His questions lead her to smile faintly back at him, something rare for her, but she feels as if she is speaking with Clarke or her closest advisors, who knew they could push at her words and engage her mind. Lexa has thought a great deal about these subjects.]
We try to make sense of it. Why did they choose to do it? Would we do the same, for our own people? I do not think these people would go to war again the same way. [She taps her head where she only recently read about the historical elements, the same as him.] Whether these are true records, it still says we did this to survive. And the cost of it was so high that if they learn from it, they will not support a war for lesser reasons. Not when they've known peace since.
[After a beat she inclines her head.] It is not a perfect theory, but neither are any of us. [Herself very much included. She could be wrong about all of this, seeing things only from the perspective as her authority and experience, but she is not pretending to be an expert on this world.
Her eyes slightly narrow at that. It is difficult to fathom but she has no reason to openly doubt him yet.] My name is Lexa. [She does not add her titles or tribe. There is no need here.] You are very wise, Castiel.
no subject
her philosophy is very Deanian, and the corner of castiel's lips pull into a smile at the thought, ducking his head as his hands tuck into his coat pockets. we take on burden after burden after burden to keep the others around us from having to bear it.
would we do the same for our own people has always been a complicated question in castiel's head, someone who's been generally outcast from his kind, who isn't entirely sure what his people constitutes now, outside of Sam, Dean and Jack. he's an angel, so the entire earth is supposed to be his responsibility to protect, but it's so often been from his brothers and sisters that it's twisted it. and then, of course, there are the times he's thrown the entire world on the pyre for the sake of saving one man - dean winchester. castiel is an angel, he will always be an angel, a small piece of the host of heaven, but the solitary concept of my people has blurred. he can't say he agrees with all that lexa says, but he respects her conviction for it, and recognizes they must come from experience and hard lessons learned. no, it's not a perfect theory, but no such thing exists. it's clearly well thought out otherwise. ]
Of course. At times, leadership is... desperately doing the best you can do with what little you have, and pushing off disaster until you're equipped for it. [ cas says with a sigh and a soft, lopsided smile, looking somewhat weary. ] It can be, as a friend would say, 'a shitshow'. Surviving is a feat of its own.
[ so good on you, lexa, for living through enough to know these things, and coming out the other side of it. she calls him wise and castiel's lips pull into a slightly sheepish smile, ducking his head and shrugging his shoulders. ]
I am very old. One doesn't always include the other, but thank you. [ he's definitely failed enough times to have learned plenty of lessons, at least, but he's learned not to trust himself to have the best answer in the room, too. cas is just happy he isn't so out of touch with the world and soul of humanity that he's like Michael or Raphael, detached from anything but control and order. ]
You know, many ancient rulers spent their lifetime on a throne and never accepted that responsibility. Bearing the burdens for your people, taking the weight of it onto yourself. [ cas watches her with a soft and open sincerity in his eyes, ] It isn't just wise, it's courageous.
[ it's a sort of kindness people don't often associate with strength, but that is what it is. a deep compassion is required to sacrifice so much of yourself for the greater good, for people you've maybe never met. rulers that only care about power aren't capable of strength like that. with a soft sincerity: ] Your people are lucky to have you, Lexa.
thank you!
The only time she picked a path for personal reasons was with Clarke. Her advisors were not happy, the other commanders living in the Flame were not either. She saw the wisdom in picking peace over death, but it was her heart that made the choice, not her head. Yet she does not regret it. She only wished she lived long enough to follow through, to show her people what Clarke showed her.
She can see the weight on him too. She has no reason to doubt he is telling the truth about his age, and if so, that is a long lifespan of experiences. It must be why he was so insistent on answers before. Lexa raises her eyebrows at the shitshow and her eyes are amused.] That is a new term for me, but yes, my people have been through many shitshows. Surviving is what we know best.
[And survival can be brutal. They were the only survivors on an earth torn apart by an apocalypse. The fact any of them lived was unusual. From the start of the Grounders, they were scrambling to live against all odds. And that drive never ended, it became ingrained in their culture, in their religion.]
Living so long is not possible where I'm from. Is it normal where you are from?
[She doesn't want to assume everyone lives by the same rules or laws of nature. His kindness and sincerity touches something within her and she softens. Lexa is loved by her closest advisors, and respected by her people, but it is not something she takes lightly or feels entitled to. She takes on such genuine praise with appreciation and equal respect.] Thank you. It is something my teachers have instilled in me all of my life, and the commanders before me. It is a burden I wanted to be worthy of.
[Lexa misses her people, she fears for them. It is not easy, to know she has no power over their future.] My people are strong and courageous and proud. For all their flaws, I believe in them. [She is dutiful but she would not be as passionate about it if she loved them any less.] But they are lost to me now.