TEST DRIVE MEME 003

[larkers]

> TEST DRIVE MEME #003

Welcome to the Meadowlark test drive meme! After waking up in strange and rather worrisome conditions, characters will need to begin to live their lives in this new world. All TDM threads take place after the arrival process, so please assume that the initial adjustment period has passed. Now it's time to see the bright sights and sounds that New Amsterdam – and beyond – has to offer. All Meadowlark test drive memes will not be game canon. Please feel free to carry on relationships that make sense, but if your character is off on a colony researching terraforming or in jail because they vandalized corporation signage with Morningstar's emblem, that will be a little harder to transfer into game. All applicants can use threads from the TDM for their samples.

> SETTLING IN

There is very little that can smooth over the experience of your arrival in this world. Coming to in a van, drugged and restrained, only to be carefully helped out by the unknown guards and nurses and then abandoned in an alleyway. What comes after is relatively straightforward: you're found by others and taken back to a safehouse, hidden under an abandoned supermarket. This has happened before. There are others not from this world who have experienced the same, with no recollection of how they came here, bearing signs that they've lost months of their lives, but unfortunately, no more answers on how or why than you do. There are theories, crossed realities, a very real sense of immense violation to one's self. Maybe this knowledge brings you a growing sense of futility, or perhaps it inspires a deeper determination in you. But even as you begin to think on what next, life has to go on. All of the new arrivals will be given a fake ID and a background that will lend them access to entry-level jobs. It may be overwhelming, but Morningstar won't be asking anyone to get their lives together immediately. It would take at least a month's wages to put down a deposit on even the smallest apartment in the city, so everyone has a grace period before they set out. Morningstar will also make their purpose clear if asked: they are a group dedicated to fighting corruption and righting the wrongs of this world, though they won't go into detail to someone who isn't a member. It will be made expressly clear that anyone who's received assistance from Morningstar has to keep that a secret, as it could compromise their life and safety, as well as the lives of others. > 001: EXPLORE THE CHANGES You have been changed, and unfortunately Morningstar know very little about how or why. They won't be able to give a crash course to answer everything, and in fact, may seem just as surprised (or scared) as you over some of the strange abilities you now have. They know this has happened, but it's just as strange for them as it is for you. Most of the troubling changes will be what's happened to each person's physiology. Every aspect of this situation is already enough to make someone feel scared, stressed, confused, or even angry at what's happened to them - having to navigate a new, crowded and noisy world could easily provide enough stimulation to make it worse . Unfortunately, strong emotion could be just the key to triggering your new power. To get things under wraps, you'll want to duck away to somewhere more private or hidden. Thankfully, there are numerous underpasses, dark corners, and currently-empty shops, but you'll need to be quick to avoid raising any eyebrows – or avoid hurting anyone. Otherwise, you might prefer to play it safe and avoid striking out before you have more answers. As much as Morningstar has been helpful, you know that the others in your situation may have more information. But be careful that you don't end up sharing more than you intended. Every instance of skin-to-skin contact will trigger an immediate empathic bond, letting you feel the other person's emotions and vise versa. While there's nothing that can be done to completely prevent this, someone can either decide to hold on and continue sharing that level of emotional intimacy, or let go and end the shockingly vulnerable exchange. > 002: THE NETWORK One thing Morningstar do know about is the neural implant. This piece of tech is a basic necessity of life in this world, and you now have one in your head. Thankfully Morningstar are able to provide any necessary information to help you understand this new tool and its application to daily life. Early on, every newcomer receives access to an encrypted network, only available to you and the others like you, making contact between you easy and safe. Familiarize yourself with this network and dig in. Perhaps you're hoping to find some bigger answers, ask about the latest weather or nail polish trends in New Amsterdam, or want to discuss how much Morningstar suck in a venue where they'll absolutely see it. Don't worry, you won't be booted. They're used to it. There are private, one-on-one modes of communication available as well, though without the security of Morningstar's encryptions, they're much less safe. You can make calls, send texts, make videos, and even interact with others in a VR simulation – however, there it's made very clear that the government has a means of tracking these. This definitely isn't a place to be careless about your communication.

> RESOLUTION DAY FESTIVAL

One day a year, everyone the whole system over participates in the annual celebration of Resolution Day. It's not explicitly stated what Resolution Day actually is; there's no reason to declare what everyone already knows, and characters may find themselves experiencing some intense culture shock as they stumble into the festivities. The celebration starts early and finishes late – very late – so whether you choose to join in the fun, learn more about the history of the festival, or take advantage of the revelry for other, more nefarious goals, you'll have plenty of time. As the festival sprawls wildly throughout the streets of New Amsterdam, it gives even the most desolate parts of the city new life with bright lights, noise, and plenty of food. Recent circumstances have left New Amsterdam in a constant state of rebuilding, but the festival adds gloss to a lot of the damage – though most of the festival strays away from the most ruined architecture so that it doesn't serve as a constant reminder. Most businesses are shut for the day, giving their workers the time to enjoy the celebration, but some might consider this one of their most profitable days of the year – if you've gotten yourself a restaurant, rickshawing or corporate PR job, you might find yourself stuck on a double shift. Better snatch what small moments of enjoyment you can! > 003: ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES Anything you'd think it would be at a festival in the year 2511 is definitely at this festival. Care to play a game? All attendees can play for free. Some games – like the hoverblade racing, the augmented reality fightboxes and the street-wide bouts of laser tag – involve a partner or a competitor, so you better hope someone's willing to do you a solid or bring out your competitive side. If having fun involves less competition and more opportunities to feel emboldened, there are karaoke setups all over the city. Most of the songs will be unfamiliar to anyone who's new to this world, but like any music in any era, they're catchy enough. There are some jingles that have managed to survive several hundred years, and you might stumble across a gaggle of teenagers declaring that "All You Need is Love." To encourage letting loose, most of these karaoke booths have bartenders available to help someone find the courage they need to reach the stage. Or maybe it's time to try the delicacies of New Amsterdam. Hundreds of food trucks have turned out today in droves with high hopes that they'll come away turning a profit. Down for some Mexi-German fusion? Or perhaps you're hoping that pad Thai still tastes the same with grasshoppers? Share your food – or give away whatever you don't like. Food trucks are the hub of activity, and the busiest ones might be worth the time, but you'll be standing in line for a while. > 004: HISTORY LESSONS Aside from your typical booths of free samples, charitable causes, volunteer applications, and white chocolate-covered beetles, you'll find an opportunity to learn about Resolution Day’s history. There are various stands available where – thanks to the augmented reality application of your neural implant – you can view video about the origins of the festival and what, exactly, everyone's celebrating. These videos will play for you and you alone, and you'll soon learn that this is the day, 410 years ago, that humans successfully ended the AI war. If you'd like to feel like a hero, the UNA are running several virtual reality simulations where you can be taken to the battlefield to fight alongside fellow soldiers, working to bring the outwardly robotic AI to submission. The virtual reality simulation interacts with your neural implant to give you the most realistic experience possible. If you don't ground yourself enough, you'll be certain that the sights, sounds, and smells around you are real as you march in formation toward the brutality waiting up ahead. Feel free to team up with a partner on a side mission, or maybe try to keep someone from plugging in for what could be a traumatic experience. Eerie, heart-wrenching music plays when you die, but is promptly followed by the image of several corporate logos reminding you that they sponsored this day and this event. If you're uncomfortable with this information, no one will understand why. AI sympathizers are not present among the native population. Will you risk trying to change their minds? > 005: USING DISTRACTIONS There are other opportunities in the city being flooded with festival-goers. For Morningstar, this is a prime opportunity to test new recruits when it comes to charming corporate execs and getting in good with them. Whatever your cover story is, make it good. Whether you claim you're hoping to pitch an idea for some new tech or are more interested in seducing – or squeezing – some information out of them, following them into the next bar or karaoke booth may give you the perfect chance. But you might want a lookout to watch your back, a co-conspirator to keep them plied with drinks, or maybe you'll need a voice of reason to stop you from squeezing too hard. Morningstar values discretion – and so does everyone else, for that matter.

> CRIMINAL ACTIVITY

Traveling down from the hectic main city streets reveals a different side from the gloss and promise of New Amsterdam. Economic disparity runs rampant throughout the city, and many people are pushed to desperation, looking to find other ways to make ends meet. In the darker shadows, many illegal activities thrive, out of view of the authorities - or perhaps known and supported by corrupt individuals. Maybe you're here exploring, completing a task for Morningstar, or working a job in the place you excel. Whatever's brought you here, you may want to watch your step, or else find the city eating you as it has so many others. > 006: GETTING IN Organized crime still has a strong foothold in the world, with gangs and more established families working drugs, weapons, property and black market cybernetics, to name a few. These organizations are sprawling units that regularly recruit new members into their ranks, so long as they can prove themselves by passing the intensive hazing. Maybe you'd like to have a role in such a powerful organization. Or maybe you'd like to use your relative anonymity to burn it all down. One way to get an in is through their numerous clubs and illegal gambling dens, where to get past the door you have to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Don't know a guy? Feel free to try to use brute force or some chicanery to make them believe that you belong among their numbers. Just don't get caught doing anything they don't like – which could be breathing the wrong way, if you're unlucky enough. Best to have an escape plan in place, like perhaps stealing one of the many hovercars or hoverbikes parked outside the establishment. If you've got the skills, you'll be able to weave through the chaos of the city and make a clean getaway – just don't let the chase run for too long, or you'll have law enforcement on your ass as well. > 007: FIGHT CLUB No matter the occasion outside, New Amsterdam's fight club events are held every evening. The bouncers at the door don't have too many scruples on who they let inside. All they care about is whether someone has the money to pay the cover charge. The interior of the fight club reveals the sophistication of a business that's used to uprooting itself regularly. All the fights take place in a large cage in the center, and you remain on your feet while you enjoy the show. There is a special VIP section if you've been lucky enough to receive an invite or bribe your way in – just keep in mind that these invites are scarce, and you will have to have done something spectacular to earn the attention from someone high up the food chain. Regardless of where you end up, there is one rule: what happens in the fight club stays in the fight club. This tenant is law, and everyone's heard stories of the different (and sometimes extreme) lengths which have been taken to maintain it. Maybe you're here to sign up and test your chops against other fighters. Many of the fighters boast illegal cybernetic enhancements, so it would be a really good idea to have someone on hand who knows some first aid. Maybe you'd prefer to just enjoy the show, or take the opportunity to grill the bartenders for information. Just be careful not to make a fool of yourself. Asking too many questions might catch the wrong kind of attention – the kind that might find you being thrown into the ring, whether you wanted to be there or not. For all the blood spilled, these fight clubs thrive on discretion, so whatever you do, try to keep it quiet.

> THE STATUS QUO

By the next morning, the true shape of New Amsterdam will come to light for everyone who steps out and sees that it has been devastated recently. There are numerous construction sites throughout the city, with some being more expedient than others, all to try to rebuild a city that's been under duress. There are numerous mandates that filter through news feeds, telling citizens that they should turn in any monster carcasses from the June 27th attacks. With no further context, it might be up to you to look into what this even means: doing just that will lead to numerous articles about a mysterious creature attack that assaulted the city and led to countless people being made homeless. No one knows the cause for the attack, as investigations are ongoing. The effects of this attack are more apparent today than they were the day before. While the festivities demanded that the streets were bare, numerous tent cities have gone back up to take the place of the booths. The people living here look like they've been here for a while, and Resolution Day festivities mildly inconvenienced them. The supplies going to them are only just enough for them to be comfortable, with most of their facilities being maintained and highly restricted to keep up water rationing demands. Soon enough it will be apparent that this is what New Amsterdam is like, with the same amount of targeted advertisements built in to the city's foundation to show the influence of the local corporations. > 008: WHERE THERE'S SMOKE Around midday, vents open up throughout New Amsterdam to let smoke rapidly filter up into the foreground of the city. The reason why? A fire sparks in the underground portion of New Amsterdam, spreading quickly between two apartment buildings. The cause is unknown, and while firefighters are on the scene, they could use an extra hand. Numerous people suffer from the effects of smoke inhalation, and there are likely more inside the buildings themselves waiting for an assist. For anyone who's been here already, this may feel like a familiar sequence of events, but going into the fire puts anyone at risk for being infected by the smoke itself. The infection is far from contagious and doesn't spread from one person to another - but it's highly unpleasant, leaving someone feeling mild nausea and headaches, irritability, vertigo, feverish … and vengeful. As the sickness takes hold and worsens, anyone impacted by this infection will feel the need to take revenge on people around them. This retaliation can take any number of forms from violent to non-violent: pick countless fights, or manipulate your friends into fighting one another for your own satisfaction, just to prove that they will turn on one another. Thankfully, there is a cure for this righteous anger – unless you're inclined to feel this normally, of course. Any of the player characters who didn't stage a rescue in the burning building will be able to cure others by making skin-to-skin contact and holding on to it for a prolonged period of time. This contact will lead to their chest glowing blue for the entire duration, an increasingly burning sensation for both parties involved which eventually culminates in a sense of peace before giving way to a deep, pervading sense of sadness. Throughout New Amsterdam, there will be countless people impacted by this infection thanks to their close proximity to the fire itself. It's up to you to help them – or leave them hanging, if that's what you prefer. But the only existing cure appears to be anyone with the strange blue stuff in their chests. The news reports that follow reiterate that everyone in the city should turn in any remaining monster carcasses that they have because of the risks inherent in keeping them close. While they don't make a strict connection between the fire and the second string of chaotic attacks, Governor Gill-Jade appears on screen to implore everyone to be cautious and vigilant. There will also be increased fire inspections throughout the city to try to prevent more of these outbreaks, and she promises that all of her resources will be dedicated toward preventing further infection.

> THE WILDCARDS

> 009: SPACE Whether you're desperate for a reprieve from Earth after getting a taste of some unwanted righteous fury or curious about this century's space exploration, there are a number of opportunities available to let someone blast off. Most people will find that the process of getting into space is tedious, but also one that occurs regularly from day to day. The opportunities are there for anyone seeking a job out in the colonies, but first you'll have to get hired, or have approval for subsidy granted by the government. Journeys to the colonies are long and arduous, and what people find when they show up isn't any better. Most of the facilities are in poor condition, with food and water far more strictly rationed than back on Earth. If you'd rather just take a trip out to space without having to worry about a job, you have a number of options. Anyone can book a trip to go off planet, if they have the capital, or perhaps you'd prefer to work towards some proper credentials and join a crew. Of course, someone wishing to skip to the front of the line can always just stowaway on the back of a ship – or steal one for themselves. Just be wary of the fact that the hangars these ships are in come with increased security to match their price tags. They're hard to steal, but not impossible. As long as you know to skip the hacking and go with brute force, it should work out fine. > 010: GO NUTS This isn't all there is to explore, so feel free to branch out! Visit a doctor about some advanced cybernetics. Sneak through the city checkpoints and set out into the wilderness. Experiment with some insect based versions of your favorite recipes. Perhaps you'd prefer to engage in some illegal street racing, spend some time getting used to the technology, or make a bold declaration to become a llama farmer. Use the SETTING for inspiration and choose your own adventure.

> NAVIGATION

Comments

1.

[whitehair]

[ at first, Heine had thought maybe he's just been brought to a neighbouring city (if it even existed at all, if anything still existed outside those walls, beyond the concrete and steel of the "sky" he's grown so used to seeing). that opinion changed fast once he'd actually been allowed outside the safehouse, once he'd actually seen what a real sky looked like. it's nothing like how he could have imagined, some vast expanse of nothing, and the burning light of the sun, too harsh and too much for his eyes too accustomed to a lifetime of artificial light and darkness.

out of everything else that he suddenly now has to get used to, that was the worst. the one thing that really drive it home that this place is - foreign, and he a displaced stranger within.

as it stands, it's rather rare for him to be out in daylight like this. mind you, he keeps to the shade of the streets, and he's managed to acquire a set of dark tinted glasses that wrap around his eyes, ostensibly for the bright cutting sunlight that continues to blaze down on the city, or rather, shielding the blood red colour of his eyes from curious passers. the shock of white hair and pale skin already draws enough attention as is.

turns the corner, almost at the same time as Alex does, and Heine doesn't stumble back as much as recoil away from her as soon as the initial shock wears off, the adrenaline spiking sharp and high as her hands move to his chest, shoving him away as hard as she can. the touch is unexpected and it's - sickening, dizzying to feel those hands on him, long slender fingers and neatly trimmed nails and it's mostly those nails that make heine take in a hiss of breath through clenched teeth, flashes of old memories (old horrors, faded nightmares that flutter in and out of his consciousness) burning acrid in the back of his throat.

a frightened wild animal lashing out at anything it can see or reach; he's too familiar with that. she had been like so, as well. he's always been-

his body is - different here, slower and not as responsive as it used to be, not altogether so in control under his will as it were, but before she could run a hand (gloved, he isn't stupid) shoots out and grabs for her wrist, tight. his voice too, holds tension that bleeds through his words. ]

Breathe.

[windowsills]

[ It takes her a moment to realize that the person in front of her has grabbed her. She only catches a brief glimpse of him: the tinted glasses, the tight defensive lines of his body, black gloves, and a snarl of disgust. She misinterprets the expression as one of aggression. Definitely a hitman. Or worse. She lets out an ugly sob as she tries to twist her wrist out of his hold. Vaguely she hears the word ‘breathe’ said from far away and some part of her agrees. It’s good advice. But just as she takes in a shaky breath, she sees him out of the corner of her eye. His coppery blonde hair turning to actual sticky red. The white bone of his jaw shining wetly in the ruined flesh of what’s left of his face. Even through the gore she can see the wicked grin angled her way. ]

L-let me go! He’s right there! Please.

[ Only there’s no one there. Her eyes are wide, seeing something that doesn’t exist to anyone else. In fact, the crowd starts giving them a wide berth, because something strange is happening. There’s something off about the pitch of her voice. It’s unnaturally high and ringing, a frequency just shy of painful, causing a bit of dizziness to anyone within hearing distance.

Instantly, Alex and Heine are the centre of intense suspicion. ]

[whitehair]

[ he doesn't see what she sees - but the wide eyed terror in her expression, the way she tries to twist out of his grasp to put distance between whatever lurks in her head and herself - it's something familiar. heine doesn't let go of her, the other hand moving to grab for her shoulder. he is not much taller than her - not much bulk either, but there is strength in his thin limbs that hopefully would be enough to keep her from bolting. ]

There's nobody there.

[ her voice ... there's something wrong about it, a ringing pitch that sends a sick sort of feeling bubbling in his gut, a sour taste in the back of his throat - but Heine has enough sense to keep it out of his voice. the crowd starting to gather, the attentions starting to be focused on them gradually, is going to be a pain in the ass.

the hand on her shoulder moves to the side of her face, black hair tangling into his gloved fingers; closing his eyes to blink away the tense nauseous sensation, heine grits his teeth tightly, letting out a strained breath. ]

It's not real. Breathe.

[windowsills]

[ For some reason ‘it’s not real’ seems to be the magic words that cut through her panic. The combination of a familiar mantra and the sight of Heine’s pale hair out of the corner of her eye reminding her vaguely of someone she knows, or used to: a safe and reliable person.

When his hand touches her face, she flinches but all the fight seems to go out of her in an instant. The fist she had made in her caught wrist unclenches, and she does just as he says. A slow breath in and out. The situation starts making a bit more sense now. He’s not a hitman or a thug or out to hurt her, just an innocent bystander that she happened to tangle up in this mess.

Her eyes darts to the side though, just to be sure. Barry is not there. Never was. She realizes she’s been subconsciously leaning into Heine’s touch, using it as an anchor to calm herself.

Her eyes are clear and present now. ]

I don’t know what’s going on. Everyone’s staring.

[ She must have been staggering or yelling. Hot humiliation washes over her. ]

I’m sorry. That… that wasn’t supposed to happen.

[whitehair]

[ It's not real. The ghosts dripping blood, their wide eyes staring, grinning though broken jaw and teeth like sharks drawn to the smell of blood, of terror, they're not real. Dead and gone, they are, even though they seem more real than anything else he encounters every day, more real than himself, because what was he if not a shell of what used to be, a broken stray dog still dragging around the chains that bound him?

Heine keeps the eye contact, his gaze remaining on the other's face, searching for that moment when Alex breathes, in and out, the clarity returning to her panicked gaze. It's not as violent as what he's used to (not like lily), but the way she blinks, the weight of her head against his palm, is similar.

(it's okay. it doesn't hurt anymore)

Heine lets go, slackening his grip on her wrist as tension bleeds out of her, and he takes in a shaky, silent breath, brows furrowing as he glances around - catching flurries of the gaze directed at them, the apprehensive, waiting curiosity. ]

'S fine.

[ Heine isn't used to ... being reassuring. Caring enough to show. After all, what's the point? It will only end up coming back to bite him in the ass, having emotions. Having bonds like that. The years have shaped him to be an asshole with a take it or leave it attitude and he makes a rude gesture at the crowd with a hand, frowning heavily. ]

The hell are you staring at?

[windowsills]

[ The gesture he shoots at the crowd takes her by surprise. Not because of the crudeness of it but the way it reshapes her impression of him. She lets out a little laugh that is half parts fond and astonished at herself for mixing it up. ]

Ah, you're not like Worick, you're Nicholas.

[ The context is absolutely not there but it makes sense to her in that moment; her system overshot from the panic attack and whatever strange tidal wave of emotions that had caused it. The crowd is slowly turning away, some shamed by Heine's call out and most losing interest after realizing that the show is over.

Alex goes to stand but her body feels sluggish and tired. Her knee gives out and before she can collapse she throws her hand out and it catches in the material of Heine's shirt. She groans and squeezes her eyes shut. The ground feels like it's spinning. ]

I... need to sit down.

[ She says it less as a request for assistance and more like someone trying to politely excuse themselves without causing offense. She's trying to collect her feet from under her but it's hard. Not for the first time since arriving she wished she could remember the name of the little pills Dr. Theo had given her. ]

[whitehair]

[ worick? nicholas? his brows crease slightly into a frown as he turns his gaze back to her. ]

You got the wrong person.

[ she laughs, a strange thing, but heine doesn't pay much attention to what she's saying, not caring enough to ask questions as to who she's referring to - figures, maybe, she's still half delusional, though her voice sounds steady enough, the clarity returning to what was a discordant, nauseating noise earlier.

the crowd dissipates slowly, and heine relaxes slightly - people weren't exactly his forte at the best of times, and here in this city, there was all the wrong things to be had for getting too much attention. he is about to move away - but that's when she catches him, fingers curling into his shirt. In that moment, turning his gaze back down to her, there's a flicker of a myriad of expression across heine's face; surprise, annoyance, something very much, but not like, pain.

( thin pale bone white fingers in his shirt. tears standing out in pale blond lashes. I'm scared, brother. )

his first reaction is to jerk away, to step out of the reach of her fingers, to let her fall. but he isn't who he used to be, and his body is slower still, to move, not having fully adjusted still to the changes to who (what) he's become here. someone weaker.

there's not so much difference, now.

after a brief moment where he stands there, frozen, heine reaches down. carefully pulls her grip free of his shirt, his gloved fingers wrapping firmly around her wrist, an anchor, of sorts. ]

Then sit.

[windowsills]

[ Alex can feel the moment when Heine’s displeasure rushes out towards her. Some animal instinct, just knowing that some unspoken line has been crossed and that there will be consequences if she doesn’t do something immediately. Her eyes lock onto the ground, not able to look at him. Confrontation is a thing she was never good at and she’s not well enough to give it a try now.

She nods and lets him untangle her fingers and then slides to the ground in the middle of the street. Her wrist limp in his hand. She’s not recoiling or showing any sort of attempt to move. Just doing exactly what she’s told and waiting for the results. ]

Please don’t be mad. It won't happen again.

[ Her first assumption is that it's anger. It almost always is. She wishes her hair was as long as it was so she would have at least that to hide behind. ]

[whitehair]

[ how do you take care of someone? heine is definitely the last person to ask, and it shows in the unsure, awkward way he holds her limp hand in his grip, before letting it fall. his shoulders hunch up slightly - eyes listless, straying from her prone figure to the dissipating crowd then back again, down the street. ]

I'm not mad.

[ awkward.... heine lets out a breath. ]

Do you need anything?

[windowsills]

[ His words and his actions don’t really line up in her head. Maybe he is honestly trying, but for all she knows he is one of the many that says the opposite of what they mean. She thinks she’s a little like that too. But the fear of this being some sort of trap, a terrible cruel mind game that one slip will have her in a world of pain is still in the front of her mind.

The offer to do something does make her looks up at him, miserable, but also searching his face trying to find out if there’s any sincerity to it. Her brows crease, her face not nearly as well guarded as his, even despite the sunglasses.

It's not real.

Finally, she decides that it does come from a place of care, no matter how awkward and stilted the interaction is now. ]

Please just tell me where I can find a sink.

[ Asking too much is something she really doesn't want on her conscious. But the feel of cold water on her face would be extremely welcome. And then they can part and both pretend this never occurred and they'd be happier for it. ]

If I can inconvenience you one more time.

[whitehair]

[ when she looks up at him, Alex would find that Heine doesn't perhaps look as angry as he might have done before; he's never been angry, just bad at showing any other emotions other than irritation and annoyance. He is frowning, but almost like it's a habit to him, brows drawn together and mouth in a firm line.

her request for water makes him shift his weight again, from one foot to the other, before he takes a step back and another, turning around.

one word, thrown back at her over his shoulder: ]

Stay.

[ the tone is abrupt, a little rude like how one might speak to a dog, but Heine doesn't really mean for it to sound as offensive as that. human interactions aren't something that comes naturally to him, and especially not with total strangers.

it doesn't take a moment for him to come back, a water bottle in hand. they're going through a little shortage at the moment here in this city, and running water on the street is a bit of a rare commodity.

without a word, he shoves the bottle into her hands. ]

[windowsills]

[ Alex barely registers the tone he uses. She’s so use to people barking at her, telling her when and where she is supposed to be. A firm pointed finger to the ground. Sitting behind the white sheets of Theo’s infirmary.

Stay.

So, she stays on the ground, her legs starting to go numb from the way they are folded under her. But Heine returns quickly and she realizes she hadn’t even considered the possibility of him not coming back. She just assumed he would for some bizarre reason. After all, he isn’t really Nicolas.

She scrambles to get a hold of the bottle, careful to not touch his fingers at all. Once in her possession, her grip on it is like a vice, the material making a crinkling sound in her hold before she fumbles with the sealed spout. It’s a little different of a design from what she’s use to, but it’s not complicated. Alex pours just a bit in her cupped hand and lays it against her forehead. Her skins feels like it’s burning, but it brings instant relief.

The fringe of her grown out hair is dribbling with water when she removes her hand but she isn’t too concerned about looking dignified. That was long passed. ]

Who are you?

[ He’s a stranger, she is well aware of that no matter how many tricks her mind was playing earlier. But something about him makes her think that he is a notable, someone she should remember, commit to whatever memory her brain can manage after a second round of what she suspects was TB. ]

You could have just left. Why didn’t you?

[whitehair]

[ he isn't Nicolas, and more importantly, he isn't anyone worth remembering - and that's what he would say if she voiced her thoughts out loud. he's nobody, caught up in the shadows of the past, of ghosts living and dead, of sins committed dragging behind him like so many rattling chains. he's left so much behind now, and that's really what Heine does best; leaving or running away - but does that really count as such when he keeps dwelling on those things in his head?

but he comes back this time.

Heine stands there watching her clutch at the bottle of water like it's some kind of a lifeline, like some precious commodity, and looks away like the sight is something he shouldn't really be watching. ]

I'm nobody.

[ a shrug - quick and reflexive, a standard answer to anyone who might ask - and Heine rocks his weight back on his heels, then back again. doesn't have an answer quick enough for her second question, though, and the corners of his features crumple a little, a little taken aback, the tension having nowhere to go.

because you look like you needed help.

( because she reminds you of her, doesn't she? )

his head jerks back, involuntarily - the voice doesn't come anymore, not really in this place anyway, but it's more of a reflex now somehow after years and years of hearing its snide voice in his head. ]

You'd rather I just left you?

[windowsills]

[ He is nobody. It’s not the answer she’s looking for, but she doesn’t press him. It’s fine if he’d rather keep his privacy, she really can’t fault him for that. After all that time observing the people who walked past her alleyways, in their black suits and pressed shirts, she knows that they all paid and killed a lot to retain that privacy. She doesn’t think this is the case here however, the way he’s fidgeting like he’s under pressure, maybe not so much because of feeling cornered. He’s just uncomfortable, she realizes.

So, she decides to say exactly what she means. Maybe her open honesty would set his mind at ease. ]

No, I wouldn’t have wanted that. It might have turned out badly. But you were here.

[ She takes a small sip of her water before slowly getting to her feet, her knees only wobbling a bit. But she does stand. ]

I don’t have any money to pay you back.

[ Just a pause, her mind scrambling to come up with some way to clear a debt and fairly. ]

But if you ever need a favour I’ll try my best to fulfill it. Until I can think of something better.

[whitehair]

...

[ she stands up and he takes a step back out of reflex, hands shoved into pockets, back hunched over in on itself - under some internal weight, maybe, curving like a question mark, as his eyes find hers before straying away once more.

it could have ended so very badly - he has seen lifetime in a city like this, and some girl walking around alone like this without any way to defend herself was nothing but a piece of meat. Heine frowns at that realisation. ]

I don't need money.

[ a pause, and he flattens his expression just a bit, the line of his mouth turning down at the corners ]

Or favours.

You can't go so far being nice to people.

[windowsills]

[ The water has cleared her head considerably and now she is aware of the numb feeling spreading through her chest and out into her limbs. A defensive reaction when her emotions run too high. Retreating and shutting down. But she doesn’t miss for a second the way he steps back. Trying to distance himself and his actions.

You were just unbearable nice.

She thinks it but doesn’t say it outloud, not willing to chance actual anger from him. He doesn’t seem the type to appreciate having attention drawn to his kind gestures. After all, he is right. You can’t get far that way.

When she finally speaks it’s to the ground, unable to look at him properly as if he’d see that private thought scrolled on her face. She wonders if her expression is as eerily blank as it feels. ]

I see. I’m sorry. There’s just nothing else I can do.

[ Maybe nice is ultimately crippling but she thinks it’s better than some of the other options. ]

[whitehair]

[ can't go far being nice to people.

what he doesn't understand, then, is just how or why he had helped her - can't explain the reasoning behind his actions to himself any more than he could answer her question from earlier. the only thing he could gather is, that her eyes looked like that of someone who were drowning - in tears or blood or both. ]

No, there isn't.

[ does that sound harsh? heine is, in moments, more cruel than people can imagine, a cold sort of deliberation behind where he directs the edge of his emotions to like the edge of a knife; but there is no fire behind the words this time, no heat behind the redcoal gaze that he rests on the back of her downcast head. ]

Just forget about it.

[windowsills]

[ The words hurt, they do, but it really shouldn’t. She flinches a bit even when she realizes that he has said it to ultimately be kinder to both of them. It is much easier to keep distance, not to fool her into thinking that if she ever saw him again that he would treat her the same, and to cut himself loose from any responsibility of her.

Still, she’d like to think she can repay him in some small way, but her skill set is woefully little and she doesn’t think he’s interested in half of what she can offer. Not with the way he recoils with even a simplest touch. She’s fine with that; her stomach churns just from the thought of offering.

She tips her head forward in respectful acknowledgment, taking that as her cue to leave. ]

Of course. Thank you for everything, Mr. Silver. Please enjoy the rest of your day.

[ Alex wanders away through the crowd, with her water bottle clutched tightly in her hand, extremely careful to give everyone the widest berth she can manage. ]